I checked my blog, and the first thing I saw was the last post, which was dated August 27. Today’s November 3. I haven’t been paying any attention to it for the last couple of months or so, and I’m feeling a sense of guilt.
If You Can Try It Once, You Can Try It Twice
You see, I put up a 120-day writing challenge on my blog to improve my writing and writing habits. I have this terrible habit of putting things off. But when I would think back, the reason I had to suddenly drop the writing challenge, which I managed to take up for only a week, was that I signed up for a writing course by one of the freelancers I know.
Every day, we’d be on a Zoom call for two hours, add to that my full-time work as a content writer, I found it challenging to manage my schedule. However, I know deep in my heart that if I forced my way through, if I could just do it, I would still be able to spare some time to update this blog. But I didn’t. I was deliberately lazy.
But lingering in the past is a waste of energy. I know that I can’t turn back the time, so here I am again, restarting from zero. I feel like a failure because I wasn’t able to keep my word. I feel like a hypocrite. But my inner voice also echoes, “You did a good job!” and I wanted to listen to this voice because it’s full of optimism, motivation, and hope. After all, the past can’t be undone, and there’s no other route than to move forward. I don’t want to beat myself because of the things I’ve done wrong.
I’m proud of myself for giving that writing challenge a try, even if it only lasted for a week. You see, I’m the type of person who is inconsistent, and I admit I sometimes lack commitment. Other times, I harbor the “here goes nothing” attitude. I may not finish what I promise to do at a particular time, but I often manage to get things done—again, just not on the predetermined time. This excludes clients’ work, of course.
These things I’m talking about are usually my personal goals. Like the thing I took up recently—I promised to do yoga for the next 30 days. But sadly, it’s been almost two months, and I haven’t finished the 30-day yoga program yet. Yes, I admit I suck at self-discipline! On another end, I’d like to congratulate myself, too, because, after almost two months, I’m close to finishing the program.
I’d like to perceive things in this light: that I’m not in a marathon, so I can take things slow. That I have the gift of time, so I can savor each moment. That it’s OK if it takes me 30 minutes to drink my coffee because I want to enjoy each sip. That I’m not a machine, so it’s OK to not stick with my daily to-do’s. That sometimes, I need a break. And even though I pause, at the end of it all, I’d still get things done. Maybe a bit later, but it’s 100 times better than never. Again, it’s all your perspective, and this is what I want to believe.
It’s similar to this writing challenge. I may not finish it now, but there’s always another time. A time when I feel I can focus on it—a time when there’ll be less resistance. And a time when things seem to fall into place. The most important thing for me now is I did it. And if I did it once, I can always do it again. If I fail to finish it, I’d do it again, and again, until I get to the end of it.
This is the kind of energy that I want to spread to you. That you’re not a failure because you failed to do things on your first try, remember, numbers are infinite, and as long as you’re breathing, you can do something in an unlimited number of attempts.
For the past two months, I’ve been thinking about recreating this blog. Instead of a writing or portfolio site, I want this platform to be about stories, life, lessons, and just a blog about perspectives. I hope this blog will be useful for someone else. May it serve as a sign to you that life should be sweet, like a chocolate cake. You’re supposed to enjoy every bit of it without feeling guilty. And just like in a lottery, you can always bet until you hit the jackpot!
